Reading My Story Through Someone Else

While reading another adoption blog today, I found a link to yet another blog and found this story: Jennifer's Story. I have read this story to each of my parents and sent it to Jon.  Why? Because the story itself is SO familiar. I've posted part of my story before, but this blog was SO familiar. I actually had forgotten about the back part until I read where she said that the only thing that gave her relief was her husband forcefully rubbing her back.  We remembered that I had my family almost beating on my back because that was the only thing that helped (and we were later told that was one of the worst things we could do).

My doctor and I both thought my issues were related to my gallbladder. It just made sense.  Never mind the BCBS nurse that told me my symptoms could be related to preeclampsia - my high-risk specialist doctor had to know more than her -right?

They never actually told me that I had HELLP syndrome - at least that I remember, but the rest of what they told me was almost identical (right down to no epidural/spinal, that my liver was causing the pains, etc.) to what they told the author of this story. This brings back so many memories of the single scariest night of my life.

I am so thankful that I had God on my side on December 4, 2008.  I am so glad for the wonderful labor and delivery nurses at the hospital where my beautiful 4 pounds, 6 ounce 17" long baby boy was born and for what I believe has to be one of the best NICU's in the South (OK - I don't have anything else to compare it to, but I loved our NICU).  And I am so thankful that God put us on a road so that I may not have to experience the fear of that (or worse) happening again.

You see, before we began this adoption journey, we talked about trying to have another baby biologically.  We weren't even really thinking about adoption.  I was so scared.  Every time we'd talk, I'd have fear that the same thing that happened with Dakota would happen again.  Once we made this decision that load left.  I have to remind myself of that sometimes because I still question everything. 

Someday it will happen (I hope)...I sure hope its someday soon.

Still waiting, hoping and praying...