Our Family

Our Family

Friday, June 28, 2013

My Miracle Song...

Sometimes, I believe a song can speak to you like people can't.  I saw that first hand a few months ago and would like to share.

For starters, back in late summer/early fall, someone made a comment to me about the adoption.  To them, I'm sure it was mostly a fleeting thought and they spoke their bit and went on their way.  That day and for many days and even months afterwards, those statements haunted me.  They actually kind of crushed me.  I dealt with them day in and out.  How dare this person say something to me that affected my whole world like that? I dealt with emotions related to that for a while. 

Earlier this year, we went to a concert where the Mike Bowling family performed.  I ended up buying a couple of CD's.  At first, this particular song didn't stand out to me.  However, later on, I started to actually listen to the words and, in my mind this song almost became my adoption anthem.  Listening to the words of this song helped me understand that I don’t have understand everything, but I do believe this is the path that God has chosen for our family and I am ok with that – actually, I have even become happy about that.  This song now has a special place in my heart.

A Miracle Today as sung by The Mike Bowling Family
You see the puzzle not the piece.  
You see the forest not the trees.
You know what's best for me.
Lord, you have bottled up my tears.
You see my questions and my fears
And the way it has to be.
I know that there are others more deserving than I.
I know that I'm not worthy but you listen when I cry.
So if this cross is mine to bear, I'll praise you anyway.
Lord, I could sure use a miracle today.

Lord, you are faithful more than words.
You feed the lilies & the birds
You catch the sparrow when it falls.
You know exactly where I am
So I'm not questioning your plan
There's a reason for it all.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Making the Decision...

I'll apologize in advance for such a long post -

A little over 5 years ago (May 2008), I found out I was expecting a baby.  We were so happy!  I was due January 14th.  The first two trimesters went relatively smoothly.  There were no major issues, although I was nervous during each doctor's visit.  My blood pressure was a little high but no other warning signs indicated issues so they just kept an eye on me.

In August, we found out we were having a baby boy!  Things continued progressing smoothly.  I went to my checkup on November 6th.  I had gained 13lbs in two weeks.  My doctor said that wasn't normal and was more than likely fluid.  He put me on bedrest for the weekend and told me to come back in on Monday.  When I went back to the doctor on Monday, I had lost 6lbs over the weekend.  I was expecting him to put me on a restricted work scheduled, but instead put me on full bed rest.  During the next visit, he set me up to begin having non-stress tests done twice a week.  At some point during this time, I began having what seemed to be severe gastric pains.  The doctor thought it sounded like my gall bladder so I assumed that's what it was.  I had been getting a call each trimester from a Baby Yourself nurse, a program through Blue Cross Blue Shield.  She mentioned that the pain I was describing could be related to pre-eclampsia.  I assumed my doctor knew more than she did.

My pain continued to get worse.  My mom was planning to retire at the first of the year so that when I went back to work, she could keep Dakota.  She ended up taking off early because I was in so much pain, I didn't need to be left alone.  I remember a day (probably December 2 or 3) that she had wanted to go to the doctor because she'd been battling a cold and I was in too bad of shape for her to even do that much.  I'd tried watching what I ate and it didn't matter.  I was hurting so bad, I (who had not thrown up once during morning sickness) began throwing up.  It was very difficult to be on bedrest and be still when hurting so badly.

I had another NST and doctor's visit on December 4th.  Mom took me and I took my hospital bag with us because we halfway expected them to decide to keep me because of the issues I had been having.   Before or shortly after the NST, the nurse that had collected my urine sample came back in and asked me if I was sure I wasn't swelling.  I told her I wasn't (I had stopped swelling once they put me on bedrest).  I knew from that question that more than likely, I had protein in my urine.  I had had an ultrasound on my gallbladder a day or two before. I went to the doctor's visit where the nurse practioner told me that the ultrasound showed my gall bladder was fine.  What was wrong with me then?

She checked me and told me I was dilated to 3 and 30% effaced.  She sent me to the hospital to meet with the doctor.  They decided to keep me and induce me. After doing bloodwork, things started changing.  I found out my pain was from pre-eclampsia that had gotten so bad, my liver was causing gastric pains.  The nurse later told me if I'd been one more day, I would've started having seizures.  They turned the lights down, the TV off, limited visitors, and then told me what, at the time, I thought was one of the worst things: no epidural and no spinal. 

After several hours of painful back labor, they decided the nurse and doctor had been wrong - that wasn't a head.  It was a butt!  So I ended up having to have a c-section. The doctor or nurse told my family I would likely come out in ICU on a ventilator.  I was so out of it, I didn't really comprehend what was going on.

This was on a Thursday night, the night of our church services.  A young brother at church gave the oil (we believe in annointing with oil) to my brother-in-law to bring to the hospital with him.  He did and God made a way for him to be able to annoint me.  Shortly after that, I started improving.  Dakota was small but fine.  He weighed 4lbs 6oz at birth and other than some small, normal issues, he was fine.  He had a light case of jaundice and had a little trouble gaining wait.  He was in the hospital for 1 week.  He came home on Friday, December 12th at 4lbs 2oz.  I still had issues with my blood pressue, but I ended up being fine.  The doctor said I had a 25% chance of having the same thing happen if I had another one.

Fast forward to last winter.  Jon and I were talking about having another baby.  We both always wanted more than one child.  I had decided I was just going to have to risk it, but everytime I would think about it, I had a fear - almost panic come over me.  During this time, one day at work I received an email saying "We need adoptive/foster parents. Please post at your church." It caught my attention because a) I had never received an email from this person before and b) my mom used to work at DHR so I didn't understand why they would have my email address and not hers.   In my mind, I thought "this could be a sign."   I talked to Jon and he felt the same way.  We had talked before about adoption but had forgotten about it.  We began talking about it again and felt like that the email was God's way of telling us we should look at adoption again.  We went to Birmingham to meet with what would later become our adoption agency and made the decision to persue adoption.  The weight that I had when thinking about another child lifted.  My burden was lighter.  I felt like that was my second sign that we were making the right decision.

Not everyone may agree with our choice, but its not their choice to agree with.  Jon and I have to do what we feel God wants us to do and what is best for the two of us and Dakota.  We have now been on the 3-year waiting list for approximately 1 year.  I have recently been reading a lot about adoption and other adoption stories.  I am so excited.   I am honored and thrilled to think that Jon & I might be able to give a child a loving, Christian home that otherwise might not have one.  I just hope and pray that God sends us the right baby and that we raise it in the way He would have it go.  Whether its one more year, two or three, I believe God will send us the right child when the time is right.

Sorry for such a long post! If you've made it this far, thanks for reading!

Bye for now!

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Learning Me...

Welcome to my blog! I've been wanting to do a blog for a long time but just never got around to it.  Well, we've lived in our current home for about 5 years and just got internet for the first time....so what better time to start? I figured I would start out by telling you 25 things that you may or may not know about me. So here goes!

1. I've been married to Jon for 9 years.
2. We have 1 son, Dakota.  We are currently trying to adopt our second child.
3. I love to play piano and sing.
4. Although I like different types of music, I love Southern Gospel and Country the most.
5. I am a conservative Christian.  I don't believe that I should force my views on anyone else, but I do believe like most typical conservatives. 
6. I love my family. This may sound silly, but so many people aren't close to their families.  I'm thankful for mine.
7. My very best friend and I have been friends longer than we can remember.  We've been friends since before kindergarten and continue that friendship to this day.  I was her maid of honor and she was my matron of honor. 
8. I love college football.  I rarely miss watching an Alabama game in the fall (even when its on pay-per-view).  I love watching and discussing college football with my dad.
9. I am a Disney fan - I love going to Disney World.  I missed part of the SEC Championship game (see #8) last year because we were at Disney - that's a big deal in my world.  I love the rides, the atmosphere, and the "magic."
10. Some of my favorite movies of all time are Facing the Giants, Beauty and the Beast, The Lion King, and The Blind Side.
11. I am an only child.  Although there have been a few times I was ok with it, now that I'm older I understand the need for a sibling.
12. Bugs love me - I have trouble staying outside over a few minutes during the summer because mosquitos eat me alive!  I hate having to put insect repellent on to be outside for just a few minutes.
13. I love reality shows. Some of my favorites are: American Idol, The Voice, Big Brother, Survivor, and The Amazing Race.
14. I never watched Duck Dynasty for over 2 minutes during the first two seasons.  Jon made me watch an episode during season 3 and now I'm addicted!
15. I'm a closet worrier.  I tend to hold it in and not show my worry so much, but deep down, I worry.  Sometimes, I think holding it in makes it worse.
16.  My birth middle name was a combination of my mother's first name and my paternal grandmother's name.
17.  Both my husband and I were named after characters on soap operas.  My mom got the name "Holly" from Guiding Light and Jon's name came from "Jonathan" on Hart to Hart.  If I spelled that wrong, please overlook me and remember, I'm talking about a show that was popular when I was born!
18. I absolutely hate snakes. As a comedian once said, they move without legs - they are OF THE DEVIL!
19. I love to laugh.  I know everyone enjoy laughter, but I really love to laugh. I love a good, clean comedian or just watching funny game show moments on YouTube.
20. I fall - randomly.  I may be just walking along and all of a sudden fall down.  I can't help it - I must have weak ankles or something. 
21. I've lived within a 5 mile radius my entire life.
22. I go to and love a small church.
23. My favorite TV show of all time is Friends.  Sometimes situations arise and all I can think about is a quote from Friends that is relevant.  For example, if I suddenly understand something, in my mind I'll think "I su-stand."  If something is irrelevant, I'll think "that's a moo point." 
24. I help direct our church Christmas play.  This past Christmas was our 3rd program and all three years I wrote or helped write the main play.
25. Growing up and even once grown, part of me always wanted to be a teacher.  But I'm not - I work as an IT Analyst.

Well, I hope you've enjoyed reading the 25 things you may or may not know about me!  Until next time, America!