Last week and weekend were emotional for me. For reasons that I won’t go into on here, it was difficult. I went (within about 12 hours) from being excited and hopeful to being confused, hurt, and sad. Sometimes, as much as you’re OK with your current circumstances, you still weep over what could have been. Sometimes, as much as you try to have faith, it withers.
My husband has been strong for me throughout this wait. He doesn’t say much about it without me bringing it up first (or at least didn’t for a while), but anytime I mention the fact that I am worrying or that my faith is lacking, he is always there to cheer me up and encourage me. Last week, when I had my emotional meltdown, he was there for me. My mom was also there for me. Even when I completely deserved to have someone say “snap out of it” or “you’re making a mountain out of a molehill,” she didn’t. Her words showed me that she understood I was hurting. I’m so thankful to have my family supporting me.
Saturday, I bought the last two “must haves” that I thought needed before baby EJ arrives. I needed (or wanted) to have a diaper bag ready. I found a giraffe print diaper bag. Of course that’s what I went with – have you seen the nursery? I also FINALLY decided on and bought some bottles. Dr. Brown’s it is! I will probably think of things I need to get. I still need to search through Dakota’s totes to see if I can find some burp clothes, which is one of the major things I need for my diaper bag. I’m sure I’ll think of other things, but I feel (mostly) prepared now.
On our way to church Sunday night, I mentioned to Jon that we might need to go ahead and get the car seat installed. I’ve debated on whether to install it now or wait until we get the call. Jon then reminded me of a story. He didn’t have to tell me the whole story – I’d heard it before. I may not get it word for word accurate, but I do want to share it with you. I hope that someone else out there gets something good out of it as well.
Once upon a time, there was a land that was going through a major drought. The people in the land needed rain and needed it badly. Three men decided that they were going to go somewhere together and pray for rain. They decided to meet at a certain time to do that. When they met, one of the gentlemen was carrying an umbrella. Of course, since it hadn’t rained in a while, the other two gentlemen wondered why in the world this man brought an umbrella during this drought. The man’s reply was simple: “Aren’t we going to pray for rain?”
Still waiting, hoping, and praying…
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